Today is just one of those days. Just one of those cloudy, grey-skied days where you wish your life was different. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I’m just feeling the 3 d’s: down, depressed and drained. I woke up, gave Miss M her milk and then an hour or so later took her to the super market and then to the swings. Back home she took a little nap while I cleaned up the house. A little after 1 o’clock I dropped her off at her grandmother’s because Panayioti is always home around 2, where he eats and ‘plays’ before we begin our sensory activities. As always I started with the Willbarger massaging and so on. But after watching him repeatedly put the body cream in his mouth I kind of lost the zeal and energy to do the rest of the stuff we have planned, especially because I knew he would also put the finger paints in his mouth, and the playdoh and the deodorant and it’s just downhill from there. I don’t know how he managed but today he also put a little bit of his pee in his mouth as well. Gross I know but I am starting to believe that these things will either stay for good or miraculously go away. It’s going to take a miracle to make him stop putting whatever’s around in his mouth. And it’s usually gross things, like pee. Lately I’ve been reading a blog titled Autism Daddy and usually it makes me laugh but sometimes it scares me as well. His son is 9 I believe and as he states has severe classical autism. So, his son does most of the stuff that my son does, like play with his ‘junk’, leaves trails of popcorn everywhere, makes weird sounds and a host of other things. And he’s 9. It’s like looking through a crystal ball and seeing the future sometimes. Is this what’s in store for us too? Yeah, I’m depressed people and seeing only the negative today. Can you blame me?