One foot in front of the other


May 2011. Little man here is 22 months old, almost two. He’s not smiling for pictures anymore, he’s holding his left hand to his side, clenched fist at all times. He’s closing his ears for no reason (no reason to us anyway) and he’s pretty much said goodbye to his “happiest kid on the block” personality. Me, I’m a wreck. Can you tell? Of course not, cause I’m ‘smiling’. I’m ‘smiling’ as I hear his (then) pediatrician tell us that all these issues are fine and that he’ll grow out of them. And I’m ‘smiling’ as I see my boy just turn into a kid that I no longer know . . . It may be weird to read this but truly an autism diagnosis, or even before the diagnosis, when your kid is regressing into autism . . . you’re left feeling like “who are you, and what have you done with my happy, playful, social, TALKATIVE, baby”?! But you don’t want to worry anybody, your husband, your family and yourself, so you smile. You tell everyone that he’ll get ‘better’.

So, what’s happened since 2011 and how do you cope? Because I do get questions at times from other mommies of recently diagnosed ASD kids, or even NT kids, they all have the same question. How do you cope? How do you do it?


Sometimes you just have to remind yourself to actually do that. But yeah, that’s it basically. Just keep going. No other choice really.

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